Sianzzz

Don't know why... Feeling kind of tired and lost. Maybe I am really tired. As I look at the dates... I can't help but to say I guess I'm really tired... I can hardly remember anything now. As in remember things which happens in the last five days... Only recollection... was that I received my Ministry Member card last Saturday. It was great...

What I can vividly remember was that I emailed to Sis Gillian my spiritual report, exams this week, yesterday and today. I did not sleep well for the past couple of days etc... That's why I am really tired... Wished I could sleep but... There are still so many things yet done...

God, how I wish I'd be more wise in using time. More wise to know what to say etc...

Today, I just cleared my second debt... Paid for the ring and yes, one load off my shoulders. However, as I look at the stack of debts I am in, I can't help but sigh... and wonder when am I going to pay off those debts, which seems like a mountain for me to climb...

NTUC, AXA life, Kaka, Alex, Samuel and many other various people are some of the people whom I owed money to. Sigh... ah... still have Faith... I did not pay up my installment on time and as a result, I got to pay more than before... Must really use money wisely as time goes...

I really wonder if I've been spiritually attacked... First, sleepless for 3 nights in a row. Then, my phone line got cut off... Then, black out in memory... Unable to recall what I studied for and I am getting tired... Maybe these are self-inflicted persecutions for myself. Nevertheless, I'd still trust in God that He would provide. Oh yes... still have... my assignments to hand up... Four to go...

I really thank God because in a span of 3hrs, I managed to complete an assignment of 2pages. Hmmm... am I really that productive? I guess not... *sob sob*

Back's aching... I really miss God... I wonder... I wonder if He would help me... God, can You hear y prayer? I know You know what I need but will You provide for me? I'm not being lazy... I really am worn out by now... Help me... Can? Please... I need You, not because I am in need but You say that those who calls upon Your name, they shall be saved. To me, I'd perceive it that when I cry out for help, you'll never forsake nor leave me... I really cry out from the very bottom of my heart... God, start to move in my life... Help me get out of debts... I do not want to live in a life of lack and also do not want to live a life of just enough. I want to be a blessing to others too... I want to life in a life of abundance...

Another Day of VICTORY

Praise God!!! Fear is losing it's grip upon my life. I feel so wonderful to be able to talk to the rest of the people when their eyes were looking at me... I am not as nervous as before...

During chinese class, all of us were to share with one another about what is it in life that we do not like about ourselves but yet is able to overcome it since the day we gave our lives to God... Want to know about mine?

Frankly speaking, I dislike a number of things about myself. Firstly, laziness, my outward appearances verses my character, the way I interact with others [because most people misunderstood me and they get the wrong idea. Not in relationship wise but in the things I say] just to name a few...

However, I shared the one whereby I do not like the way I look because often, people would mistaken me for being a bubbly, active, talkative etc kind of a person which I do not think I was or am now. I was actually never that kind of a person. However, as time goes by, I find that I am getting more and more out-going than before. Glory to GOd.

When I was young and before I got to know Christ, I was a very reserved person who loves to watch and enjoy others play. I am not a looney but rather, I would enjoy people playing with each other than myself joining them. Cause I know I would get into fights, especially when I was very young. Also, I would be aimed by others whenever I play a game with the rest of my peers. Maybe you would say that I am a person's who's a lone ranger.

Even during my secondary school days, I would even get complained by my teachers and fellow classmates that I am a very proud person. There was such a time that I was accused by my teacher that I was very talkative too... When the fact of the matter wasd that I was not even talking at all. Sigh... What to do?

Nevertheless, things never changed even after I left secondary school for ITE, then to the army. It was in the year 1999 that my life really changed. When I got to receive Jesus as my personal LOrd and Savior. However, the major changes within me was in the year 2003, when I was in City Harvest Bible Training Centre for the first year. My life began to change. Indeed, it was a life changing experience. What's more, I am a year two student this year. I felt that my character's been refined and changed. Not only that, I am also determined to be the kind of person God wants me to be. To be a responsible and honest guy who will love people fervently and love God WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

Sharing with the normal group of five was my comfortzone. However, today, I got to share my life's testimony with a group of Eleven people. It's a breakthrough for me. Glory unto God!!!

Tuition with Calvin
Yes, you've not seen wrong. I had tuition with Calvin... A primary one student, from campassvale Pri. He's a very cute boy and he seems very obedient. However, he's very talkative. Kept talking to me even when I asked him to study and learn for his spelling because he's gonna have exams tomorrow. Strange eh? Today's my first day with him and I'm expected to perform some miracles with him to help him improve his studies. I really have no faith in myself and my abilities. However, what I can do is to pray... For I know, God listens to my prayers~~ =D

Today, I really had a fruitful time. Sister Giallian told me that I'd be promoted to be a Ministry member this coming weekend. Hopefully, I'll soon be promoted to a higher level so as to be able to use the informations and skills aquired from my twenty months of Bible school to teach others. I am equipped with the Word of God. Without God, I am nothing. I always thank God for who He is. Without me, He is still God, buit without God, I am never me... I'd have been in some corners in this earth... rotting and losing hopes. Who knows, I'd not even be on earth...

Whatever it is, I thank God for His mercies never fails and that He loves me even till the end of my life. I thank Jesus, for He gave His life for me, that I might have life and have it more abundantly. I pray to GOd that you'll be blessed too upon reading my life's testimony...

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

At Church, chinese cell:

Jing Cai was absent and the rest of us had to take over the "roles" he have to "play"...

Preached in Chinese again... wahahaha... While Xiao Rong was preaching, I had a revelation... John 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

Many people have different perspective on how to run things and where to lay down their John 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."treasures. They place their trust upon material things, spiritual things or even people in their lives.

Some people places their trust upon gold, silver and precious things of the world. Others, places their trust upon gods, however, there are so many other gods, which one to really trust in? While there are some, who also place their trust upon people... IE: Children, parents, loved ones etc... However is that real trust?

Jesus says very clearly in Matthew 6: 19- 20 19 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. "

So, till now, we know that we cannot base our trust upon worldly wealth because it will be destoryed by moth and rust.

Matthew 6: 24 "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. Jesus also mentioned that we cannot serve two masters

So, whom shall we place our trust upon? Let's read John 14:6 again. Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." So, you see here, Jesus mentioned that He is the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE. He has come unto earth not to be a kill joy or to take away your money/ happiness and joy. He is here to give us the way, the truth and life.

Let's look at John 10: 10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. Now it's very clear that Jesus meant what He said in John 14: 6, to give us life... not only life but life more abundantly. How can we have life when we are poor all our lives? It's living in hell... Not having much of life at all to talk about, right?

Jesus wants us to have life and have it MORE abundantly. When we are young, our parents provided for us. They GAVE us the things we want and yes, though there are times we do not get what we want; due to many reasons but one thing is for sure, our parents will give us pocket money.

Our parents gave us almost everything. Yes, including the type of life we live. In return, what do we give back to our parents? Yes, when they are getting older, we support them in return. We give our parents money in return to support them. Let's look at a bigger picture...

God GAVE us everything in life. IE: Our parents, background, our existence etc... What did we do for God? How have we honored God in return? Instead of honoring Him, some went astrayed, seeking other gods... It's like a child going against parents who have provided for them all these while, turned his back and seek for other things in life which are less important.

If we, perform fillial piety unto our parents, repaid them for the things they did for us. To support them when we are working, how much more we must do onto God? We are all His creations.

Is Jesus your Lord? If He is, what are the things you do shows that He is the Lord of your life?

When I honor God, I give my tithes and offering. So, when I give my tithes and offering to God, I am giving my life to God too. Jesus says in Matthew 6: 21 "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." By giving tithes and offering unto God, I am also saying to God directly that I am giving my life unto Him and that I love Him.

Today, I want to bless you. If you can even pay your taxes unto your government etc... How much more, your Creator? I am not here to take your money. Neither am I given this message and revelation by God for nothing. There are tons of examples in the bible that when people give their tithes and offerings unto God, they prospered more... This has always been a principle in the bible...

So today, if you've read this message, I'd exhort you to give your tithes and offering unto God. Be it be to your Church or to me. This is what God said in Malachi 3: 10- 12 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this," Says the Lord of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it. 11 "And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, So that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground, Nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field," Says the Lord of hosts; 12 "And all nations will call you blessed, For you will be a delightful land," Says the Lord of hosts. This challenge is not made by me. This challenge is made by God.

Also, if you do not know what tithing is, you can email me for more details. You can email me at
othniel_judah@yahoo.com.sg For donations, you can also email me for more details. God bless you.

On my way to work:

Met a neighbor whom I hardly knew. Only saw him a couple of times in the lift. This was the first time I had a decent conversation after a couple of months.After the chat, he handed me his name card... That's because he asked what would my plans be after my bible school. Hmm... Not pretty sure if my prayers been answered but I am not going to take chances or take it for granted. I'm going to continue fasting.

Have been fasting and praying, seeking God for direction and plans He have planned for me. Apparently, I was specific in my prayer. As in, I asked God to speak to me this week, where to go and that He would open "doors" of opportunity for me.

Work at Cartel:

It's been a week since I last went back to work. Well, today, there were many people in cartel. Sigh... However, it's good cause I get to concentrate on the work instead of the time. While working, I think I've injured my ankle once again. Gosh... my knees feels so sore and numb... Same goes for my ankle. Guess I've to go and rest early...

I do not know why I typed donations, anyway, if that's of God, then it'll certainly speak to people's lives and I pray that they will be blessed. I'm confident in God's words, because God says that His words are sharper than any double edged sword. Those who despise the word of God and does not rely upon His words and directions will face its consequences.